You’d recognise that not being over your ex, in whatever guise it takes, means still emotionally tied, whether it’s positively or negatively.
It means that you might still be in touch with them, a reunion may still be under negotiation, and that you may be putting a lot of effort in to not making contact or swatting off their efforts.
Here’s what empathy would look like: You’d put yourself in their shoes and immediately recognise that after a breakup, it’s a confusing and painful time where you go through a plethora of emotions – it’s time to get out of the way.
Not over ex dating someone new
You meet someone, they ask you out, you enjoy yourself, you continue talking and spending time together, and feel the attraction and desire for a relationship building as the dates continue.
Unfortunately, in spite of chemistry, common interests, apparent shared interests, direct and indirect references to the future etc, it becomes apparent that they’re not over their ex either because they tell you, or it becomes apparent through their actions.
Being empathetic means recognising that they’re hurting but may be finding it hard to deal with it.
There may have been no ill intention and that they were and are interested in you, it’s just they overestimated how ‘ready’ they are for a relationship.
It’s hard for me to make a decision on who I should commit to. Until you cut him off, you will never be free to love again.