If you’re truly planning to do this, where exactly does the ex fit in? No finality, and too many loose ends makes for someone who ends up being trapped in a half life and you will not get to address why you were even in this relationship in the first place.
But you throw all of your energy into this (non) friendship because in reality, you, at the time, believe you want him to be a part of your future and actually, you can’t imagine his future without you in it, because you’ve confused how you think, feel, and act, with how he thinks, feels, and acts. Being friends with these guys prevents you from moving on and if you spend more energy pursuing friendship with them, than you do on focusing on yourself and trying to move yourself forward, it’s certainly indicative of you inadvertently trying to prevent yourself from being real, healing, and having to take uncomfortable but necessary steps to change.
Here’s the thing: Most women I come across say they want to find love and be in a serious relationship. I…er…he…er…it’s kind of complicated…Is he the guy that keeps calling and texting? Staying friends with these guys can end up keeping you in a pattern and you end up being a Yo-Yo Girl with a trail of unfinished business in her wake.
All of this leads to choosing better partners, and inadvertently, building better relationships with family and friends.
Exes, especially assclowns and Mr Unavailables, are not memorabilia for you to collect up and carry around with you in the form of your relationship past entourage.
If you play into their hands, you will fall into a new cycle, only now you’re getting the headache under the guise of ‘friendship’.